Thursday, April 17, 2008

The Politics of Bullshit

When, exactly, did politics become so goddamn ridiculous?

Yes, I understand that the Democratic race is at its boiling point. Hillary SHOULD concede as she has no chance of winning, but she won't. Not because she really feels that she can win but because her ego won't let her quit. The woman is down by 200 delegates, she pretty much has to win every state left out right and by decent margins (hooray for convoluted delegate-splitting, Democrats!), and she cannot seem to capitalize on Obama's mistakes because she's too busy putting her foot way past her mouth and down her goddamn throat.

Obama's nowhere near perfect; he's got no experience, he's more talk than substance, and he has a penchant for phrasing his words in a way that makes him out to be an arrogant prick. But Hillary, you can't pounce on his imperfection if you're lying about Bosnia, apologizing for lying without actually saying "I lied", and then saying that fatigue caused the "misspeak". You can't say you lied and then say it was a mistake in the same breath.

An aside: when 2008 is all said and done, it will be known for the worst butchering of the English language by public figures, EVER. Between Clemens' use of "misremembered" to Hillary's constant use of "misspeak", we're headed for a world where anyone can make up any word they want by adding enough prefixes and suffixes to suit their needs. Hillary, just suck it up and admit that you anti-truth-itioned; maybe then you'll get back the respect you've been hemorrhaging over the past two weeks.

And enough about the goddamn Flag lapel pin that Obama won't wear. Would it make the jingoistic fuckheads in rural West Virginia happy if he wore it? Of course it would. Should he wear it if he doesn't want to? Fuck no! He makes a great point when he says that he doesn't need a lapel pin to show that he loves his country. There are so many assholes out there with fifty American flags strewn about their house. People have hundreds of those retarded magnetic ribbons on their cars. Those people are being spoon-fed patriotism by the government and getting Star-Spangled enemas by every moronic talking head on Fox News. Wake the fuck up, people!

If you focus on a two-dollar piece of metal on someone's jacket you are missing the real issues. The economy, health care, education, military morale, our standing in global's all in the shitter and we're focusing on a goddamn PIN and how terrible it is that Obama rhymes with Osama! Those backwoods fuckfaces who can't see the forest from the trees make me ache with anger.

And in the other corner, John McCain is laughing his face off. Literally. I mean, have you seen the guy lately? He looks like someone just opened the Lost Ark in front of him. The man will be 73 years old in January 2009. This man has a temper that rivals Yosemite Sam's and he wants to keep our troops in Iraq for at least the next four years. He doesn't know the economy from his ass and he about-faced so quickly from what he stood for in 2000 that he looks like Mel Brooks after his first teleporting experience in Spaceballs.

Is McCain ready to run the county? Possibly, but if I were to place a bet on it, I'd say he dies within the first two years. Do you really want the most powerful politician in the world to be a man who was alive during FDR's first term? You may not have a choice. He's been preparing to face the Democrats as the presumptive nominee for over a month now. The Democrats have been pulling out all the stop to discredit one another, unwittingly giving him all the ammo he needs to blow away whomever is chosen as the Democratic nominee. No matter how the Democratic convention goes this summer in Colorado the winner is going to have to deal with a two-fold problem: putting together a fractured party and facing a nominee who has had the time to both convince the doubters in his party to stand behind him and to build a strategy for whomever comes his way.

I'm afraid we're in for Bush Light if McCain wins the election. While he is much smarter than Dubya he has adopted the same mentality as Bush on a lot of key issues since he had his ass kicked in 2000. Is he a strong man? no doubt. Can he lead people? Sure. Can he steer us away from the idiocy of the last eight years and stay healthy enough in mind and body to do the job to the best of his abilities? I have a hard time believing he can.

Then again, I have a hard time believing that either one of the Democratic nominees could tie their own shoes if elected President. The bottom line: we're fucked. All of us. Royally. Sleep tight.

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